Eyes on: Snowman Defender


(This was in no way a reflective of what the game actually is))

Say you made a friend with a Snowman you just made, what would happen next? hmm, what could possibly go wrong right?  well some might think you’ve gone kray kray, some other might call you cute to the point where they say


“well don’t bet on that kind of response, but you know what I mean right? Olaf aside, have you seen any  living snowman, like, ever?, they’re not even in the endangered list of things, I’m sorry,but they might be extinct by now.”

“But what about my friend here?”

“I know you’d like to know what the hell is that hideous looking abomination, to be frank it looks like a pair of ball sticking together to keep each other warm, but no, really , that’s not really the Issue here, you see, do you realize what you’ve just done? you called it your friend, basically you just made this lump of condensed water and salt happy, and this fickle little ball, and this ball-head with carrot attached in front of it is just a small part of this thing called snow,  so small you can even call this thing “Chippokena” in moon runes those means insignificant if you know what I mean and what you did to this insignificant part of  a much larger existence called “S.N.O.W” made the rest of the snow crave your affection, so you could either appease them with your affection, or probably just scram”

“b-b-b-but…WHAT ARE THOSE THING!!!!!? (cast blizzaga on the snowman horde)” 

“Argh, you’re a massive idiot kid, they loved you, and you threw them away, you were the salt to their pepper, the star to their night, the waifu to their laifu, what more can you possibly hope for?,  now it’s too late to turn back.”


“Hmm, where should I start, so…..basically, we call those thing the snowmen  of apocalypse , and that little friend of your is our beacon of light, YOU, my boy, you’re the guardian of light, you were given the honor to be one when you revived our last beacon of hope, you are to protect this friend of your from those snowmen, the existence of this world they’re in your hand, and as for me, don’t mind me, I’ve lived my life knowing this day would come, if you made it through, we’ll….. meet……. again, br….o….t….h…”


Well, that’s the gist of this game…..NOT, Snowman defender is a game where you defend your snowman friend from the evil snowmen horde, the game play out like a bullet hell-esque game, well a lite version if we’re going to call it that, there will be an endless horde of enemy coming for you, kid, so use your snow bullets to repel them  and they will shoot out what appears to be an ice shard, out of thin air, and you’ll be given  5 heart so you, and each time you get hit your heart will decrease, and there are different kind of enemy, the weakest types can actually be banished in one shot, and as the time goes there will be tougher enemies to face, that would no go down no matter how many times they got hit. there’s also this power up mechanic that doesn’t clearly state what they are for, but you should be able to figure out what each one of them do in no time, there’s also a bit of hit detection issue that I had when playing the game, I felt like the hit boxes can be a bit tighter .

Snow Defender felt like an early 2000’s flash game,  but that’s not a bad thing at all, the game kept it simple, and did what it was built to do, repetitiveness in this kind of game should be considered par for the cause, but I felt as if this game can still improve on that department, maybe more enemy variations, power ups and weapon would help,

When everything’s said and done, Snow Defender feels like a game you might want to try once in a while, but ultimately it’s another one of those endless game that you’d get bored of 10 minutes in.

Written by hebiroth in: Uncategorized |

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